katie zeller - minus the interesting title

christmas surprise.

2012-01-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

tricia wanted photos for her son and daughter-in-law of their kiddos as a surprise christmas present. she wanted them about as natural as they get, which i truly appreciate. they play with trains, snuggle on the couch, and go to the park across the street.

favorite? probably. who doesn't want a picture snuggling with the grandbabies?

six months a little late.

2012-01-06T18:52:00.001-08:00

how far am i behind on my personal photos? about three months to be exact. seriously.

when juno was 6 months old my girlfriend, and talented photog, ashley asked to swap photos. instead of family shots i went with juno and momma. why? because she has seriously been on the raw end of the photo deal since i have found less time to photograph her than finn at her age and i am pretty much never in our casual shots. so - here we are. luckily she really hasn't changed that much...maybe a little more hair and few more pounds.

a huge THANKS to ashley. i will cherish these.

out.take.

2012-01-06T17:55:00.000-08:00

finn and juno are #8 and #10, respectively, in the zeller grand kid lineup.

we decided to get the children together for a quick photo op, and this made me giggle. chase and ty look done for the day. fallon and juno are giving the side eye. finn and livs thought now would be a good time for a conversation. zoey - eyes closed. lake is wanting momma, NOW. jude just kind of let his eyes drift away. but Z - great job.

so there you have it. 10 wonderful, beautiful, big-personalitied zeller children.

year's end.

2012-01-06T17:44:00.000-08:00

i have always wanted a kiss under the mistletoe and i've never gotten one. true story.

granted, we completely posed this photo and even retook it since the first one looked a little akward but all in all, i got my wish. and may i just say - this guy is one tall drink of water.

momma and baby.

2011-12-19T20:09:00.001-08:00

alrighty - couldn't help myself.

this was a one year shoot for jax although lindsey is married with another child (who wasn't present). i encouraged her to jump in for a few pictures and she reluctantly agreed. i was pleased with the outcome as i hope she will be.

my motivation is always something like this: i wish i had photos like this with my mom, i wish i had photos like this with my child, etc, etc. luckily, i do with juno and i will post them...later. for now enjoy.

roar, lion.

2011-12-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

cute lion hat? check. super cute kid? check.

the last session of 2011. i'm thankful for the opportunities God has given me to photograph families, kids, and weddings this year. so now i'm off to take a break and try (oh, please, just try) to update my own family photos.

hey pretty ladiezzzz.

2011-12-13T17:16:00.000-08:00

a lovely affair.

2011-12-13T17:09:00.000-08:00

since i've known my cousin she's loved the color purple. and it shined through on her lovely wedding day in november. each girl wore a different shade as they surrounded the ecstatic couple. they were effortless - so happy, full of love. i am truly grateful to have been a part of their special day.

different. similar. same.

2011-11-29T18:45:00.000-08:00

almost everyone that i know (who also knew finn from birth until now) constantly tells me that my daughter is finn's copy. call it a mother's denial or attempt to establish a clear distinction but i casually mention i think they make look similar but not as much as one would say. so after hearing it again today i thought i would browse through some old files and find photos of both kids with similar expressions at about the same age.

judge for yourself. finn is a few weeks older in this photo but i'm still not sure where i'm laying my cards just yet.

stella!!!!!!!

2011-11-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

on the last of the lovely fall days we walked into the woods and walked out with beautiful family photos. well, not we - they. and that's just my opinion... i'm not patting myself on the back.

and these two.

2011-11-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

are my sweet little cousins. i love the unexpected photos.

these two.

2011-11-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

have my whole heart for my whole life.

sweet bea.

2011-11-21T20:26:00.001-08:00

alrighty, admit it. if you're on pinterest you've seen this:

with some variation. there's the "colored a picture of a horse. nailed it." and you get my point.

so when i photographed sweet beatrice the first image i saw was the following

and all i could think was, "wore a tutu. nailed it."

as for the rest - she's a doll and her parents are wonderful.

let us not forget...

have a look see.

2011-11-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

i see these three kids and think, "dang, they're gorgeous."

and then i see their parents and think, "no kidding the kids are gorgeous... look at these HOTTIES!"

true story. i just so happen to be related to them, but that makes no difference. i'm just telling it like it is.

landscape is my worst.

2011-11-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

i am a terrible landscape photographer. it's true. i can't just look at a scene and capture it on camera like i see it. there are times i look at something and want to remember how taken aback i was at God's sheer awesomeness so i take out my camera and click... yet somehow the image never looks like i "see" it.

luckily, when i'm at my worst, God is at His best. and here He is - sunset with thick clouds rolling in absorbing and reflecting the light all at the same time.

i was driving home (aka, my parent's house, which will always be "home" to me) and i actually pulled off the highway to grab this. it was worth the 70 questions from finn and extra three minutes to my drive.

family.

2011-11-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

am i partial to my beautiful niece and nephew? you bet. but when my sister-in-law asked me to take their christmas card photos and i never promised to be biased.

but aren't they perfect?

hey pinterest, thanks for the inspiration!

darling.

2011-11-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

windy? yes. lovely? absolutely.

one of my repeats and i am thankful for that. the kids are getting cuter and bigger and sweeter every time i get to see them.

one of my favorites this year. i love mom's and daughters. and i am completely biased.

fuh fuh fuh freezing.

2011-11-06T19:11:00.000-08:00

in the absence of tiffany i was able to meet and photograph this darling family.

it was 8am. and 31 degrees outside. but they were troopers and this little man has the cutest smile ever.

family and a farm.

2011-11-03T20:56:00.000-07:00

i love when kids are organized and give their parents family photos for the anniversary. i should take a cue.

mommy and daddy.

2011-10-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

becuase what is sweeter than a kiss for mommy and daddy? nothing. nothing is sweeter.

i love shooting the same thing at different angles - it changes the whole game.

stingy blues.

2011-10-20T19:26:00.000-07:00

that's nora. lovely, blue eyes and stingy with smiles. when she does they are melt your heart adorable (yes, she's perfect when she doesn't smile too). i think her parents were laughing in most pictures at the trouble we went through to try and get her to giggle. she is one wonderful baby!!

a cousin.

2011-10-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

another sweet baby zeller. she's already months old and growing like a weed! finn played with her older brother while i snapped away.

this dress? made out of grandma's hankie's courtesy of sutsie pie in morton, il. guess what i want to do with my noni's old hankie's now?

the trail.

2011-10-18T20:57:00.001-07:00

alrighty, my girlfriend's kids make me laugh a lot. like, pee your pants bad.

i love them. i love all of them!!

and by the way

2011-10-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

my hair will be looking like hers soon. but dark brown. sorry, mom, i am in no way kidding.

yes, please.

2011-10-10T19:56:00.001-07:00

one of my favorite photos of the trip? yeah.

and another favorite? i got to hook up with this hot biznatch i went to college with. let's say conservatively i haven't seen her in 6 years. so we got to meet each other's husbands, have lunch, catch up, and see the sights. yo home to bel air.

THE wedding.

2011-10-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

let's get to the meat of the trip... THE WEDDING. and that it was. the details, oh! the details were never overlooked. but for now, let's look at the bride and groom.

here she comes (see what i mean about the details?)

uncle ray and his beautiful daughter.

man and wife.

but seriously? could she look happier or more beautiful?

dancing under mason jar chandeliers? no problem, details.

back back to cali cali

2011-10-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

actually, you can't go back somewhere you've never been but the whole time i was on the plane i just kept singing the biggy song to myself. because apparently i'm super gangsta.

saz and i headed out to santa monica for my cousin's wedding... sans children. yep - you heard right. 5 days no kids. driving away was the hardest part for me. once we landed and i talked to the in-laws i calmed down and enjoyed the time i get to spend with the hubs. here is a quick overview of our time together:

the view from our hotel.

walking along the ocean... where's waldo?

santa monica pier:

two.

2011-09-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

big girl, izzy is TWO! i remember her birth like it was yesterday and here we are two years later. she talks like crazy, has squinty eyes when she smiles, walks on her tip toes, and loves fruit snacks. needless to say she kept me entertained.

i also got to check in with the little sister, cece. chubby cheeks and all. love you guys!

wind-whipped hair is very, very sexy! and it was very, very windy on the farm.

i'd live there.

2011-09-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

i'm having a love affair with barns (sorry, saz). this is different from the one the other day - actually this was just a test shot for lighting and i fell in love.

i think my plan for 2012 is to do a barn tour and shoot around for a few months.

a little love goes along way.

2011-09-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

here is a fun shot from the farm engagement session. thanks for the inspiration, pinterest.

and her brother brought this sweeeeet ride.

and this was a sort of emergency session because the couple wanted corn in the photos and harvest has begun!

rust.

2011-09-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

i shot at a farm tonight and this rusted metal had the prettiest color pallet.

there is beauty all around if you look for it.

the family bed.

2011-09-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

let's get things straight: we don't let our kids sleep in bed with us. i have tried on occasion but seth is the strong one in this area. but every single morning we follow the same routine:

saz goes downstairs to make coffee. he brings up finn's milk and two diapers and before he leaves for work he brings both kids to me so i can nurse juno in bed while curious george plays. we all rest, we lay together, cuddle, and take our sweet time waking up. on occasion i even get 5 more minutes of sleep. when finn gets riled up we head downstairs to begin the official day.

the same routine applies for nap time. i admit it, i take naps every.single.day. with my children. instead of seth i fill the roll of diaper/milk retriever. more than relaxing we play a sort of hide and seek, pillow cover head game, etc. these are my favorite times of the day and i'm glad i get to spend it in my own bed. (i do think finn likes it since we allow him to have paci and panda in our bed.)

note: i am not above giving finn fruit snacks in bed so he'd take out the paci in order to get an image without a huge, blue thing on his face. yep, i bribe.

harper amos.

2011-09-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

that is exactly how finn has been referring to his new best bud for three days. full name only.

i adore being at home with my kids, especially when my girlfriends do too. i popped the two kids in the car and drove up to oak lawn to visit my fabulous married friends for a full 24 hours. we had every intention of a mini session, which was easy breezy and lovely.

and finn is still talking about harper amos.

baby love.

2011-09-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

i love babies. and sometimes i'm ready to have yet another (but i think saz might need a little more time).

at least i can get my fix with other ones. this little buy was born 10 pounds!!! he was sweet and chunky and lovely, just like little boys should be.

baby lips. probably my favorite ever.

the world's fair.

2011-09-11T19:26:00.001-07:00

not really - more like the el paso corn festival but the first year i moved to town i did hear several people call it the world's fair.

we were able to pop over with abe, em, and the kid's to get fair food (CORN DOGS!!!! FUNNEL CAKES!!!!) and hop on a couple rides.

seriously? i love these two. i really hope they continue to be such sweet friends.

hey june bug!

i made a picture with my hubs!!

storytellers.

2011-09-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

finn's interest in anything physically related to sports is non existent. but give that kid a guitar, piano, music, paint and watch him go.

i walked in to the bedroom and my loving hubs let me know this was finn's version of vh1 storytellers. (note: finn playing and talking for seth, juno, dog, and panda.)

you're breaking my heart.

2011-09-06T19:22:00.000-07:00

can you guess what this newbie's name is? i have a very strong affection for babies with a wrinkle on the bridge of their nose. and the big sista in this photo is my goddaughter, so i'm 100% biased for these two baby girls.

be still my heart, kristy, you look absolutely beautiful.

this was not an official "session," rather, we brought dinner to friends and the skyline was pretty so we snapped a few. we have amazing friends.

all aboard the pinterest train.

2011-09-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

yep, i joined pinterest (blame bezely for that one) train. i have two rules: no obsessive stalking of pinterest and only pin things i will actually do/use/find inspiration from. meaning - no dream house ideas in my future. not that i think it's bad for people but for me it is. i have no desire to want for more when i have plenty already.

ok, so - one of the first things i saw on pinterest was a headboard

and i fell in love with it for several reasons - i want more color in our bedroom (which is largely brown and green), love is a command in the Bible, and i'm trying to make our space a little sexier. yes, i said sexier.

cue kelly. my darling kelly. i love her guts. we met in high school, worked a million jobs together, lived together in college for three years and managed to make it out friends. she has a wonderful hubs and a disgustingly adorable child whom i love as my own. oh, and she's super creative (art major). so i asked her to copy it... and she did, quite perfectly if i do say so myself. i actually did get a new bedspread since the one she's sitting on has been ripped for two years (thanks, cash) and that also adds the color i'm shooting for... but for now - just admire my sweet kelly in action.

some of the parts of my soul.

2011-08-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

good bye, t. w-f.

2011-08-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

if you've read my blog or know me then you've heard me gush about tiffany so i'll spare the sentiments again...

but her family is taking their lives to northern ireland for two years. that being said this was the last time i'll photograph them for at least that long. it was perfect. everything - the scene, the kids, the pretzels, the light. i loved it. and since i cannot stop with the images i'm sure i'll post more later.

thank you, tiffany, for being willing to trade with me. i'll say it one last time, i think i got the better end of the deal. all the best to you and yours and i hope we see each other again.

remember, people, updated couple shots! they only take a few minutes since adults don't require much coaching and your kids will cherish them someday.

a small teaser.

2011-08-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

this is one set of pictures i will be bittersweet about sitting down with. so enjoy this view of them walking out of peoria for a few years.

mom and not so baby.

2011-08-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

what is it about mothers and daughters that makes my heart smile so?

just because...

2011-08-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

sometimes you have to make sure your momma and daddy are still there.

same farm, different family.

a tale.

2011-08-11T09:19:00.001-07:00

of some wonderful sun(flare). and a great farm. and a Christ-centered family.

a dream.

2011-07-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

a photog's dream: sunflower field two minutes away from my parent's house, dusky sunshine, a three year old in a tutu, a five year old going on 15, two little girls who loved being in front of the camera. they completely stole my heart - super friendly, goofy, beautiful, and loved being in front of the camera.

we didn't even mind it was 100 degrees outside with humidity that felt like you were taking a dirty shower. the girls didn't seem to mind... i soaked through my clothes.

you know you're thinking, "i whip my hair back and forth..."

because...

2011-07-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

saz is the mortar to my brick... and i don't even care how many people make fun of us for our playful facebook banter.

lila lila lila.

2011-07-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

sweet lila came to this world with loads of dark hair and bright eyes. parenthood was made for two people like this:

baby toes? yes, just about as cute as cloth diaper bums.

ketti is one of those impossibly fresh looking new moms who you'd probably hate if she didn't have such a sweet, loving, caring disposition.

i'm pretty sure there is a deep conversation going on here.

and let's not leave out carter - since fatherhood is looking pretty good on him too.

oh, juno!

2011-07-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

if ever there was a happy, smiley baby...

to wake up to this in the mornings is pure bliss.

and what the heck is it about big ol' cloth diaper booties that is so irresistible??

home.

2011-07-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

some photos don't need much narration...

(these are technically posted in backwards order... but that's all.)

the 12 year old "nanny"

2011-07-14T08:16:00.001-07:00

my friends are smart, no, geniuses! two of my girlfriends told me that they had the 12 year old girls at church come over to their houses and play with their kids. this allows my friends to clean, run errands, have an extra set of hands for going to the doctor's office or pool, and so on and so on.

naturally i wanted to jump on this bandwagon. i mean, BRILLIANT!! these girls LOVE toddlers and babies (and i stress LOVE!). luckily one came up to me at church last sunday and offered her services. um, yeah. she's here today and i am able to catch up on work while she runs after finn, loving every minute of it. and while he gave her a run for her money the other day they are currently at the park swinging and swinging away.

i can see the attraction of people wanting a full time nanny. however, i have currently rationalized that she only has a few weeks left of summer, i'm buried under photos and art projects, and it's great for the both of us for a little while.

so, while she's out with finn and i'm at the computer i can occasionally step away and capture this: the chaos of a messy bed and a beautiful baby peacefully sleeping. i don't even mind she leaked through her diaper and peed on my side of the bed.

guess who's home?

2011-07-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

my dear friends made it back from the congo with two kiddos in tow. tomorrow's project is to finish these photos and post more of this happy homecoming... for now, enjoy the sheer joy you can see on their faces at becoming a family of 5.

also on the list (oh, the neverending list...): finn's second birthday and vacation?? wish me luck.

me and mine. summer 2011.

2011-07-12T14:48:00.001-07:00

for the last few years i have been lucky (and i stress the lucky part) to trade with tiffany wyse-fisher for family photographs. i'm going to call and spade a spade and just say she's on another level, like another planet level... so i'm not sure how i did get so lucky.

anyway - she's moving to n. ireland for two years (read more about it here) and i am selfishly sad. and it is selfish! she's going to spread awesome and have adventure and i just want her here so she can take more pics of my family and keep the central illinois cool factor up. ok, i'm over myself. i'm glad there are people on this planet like her. creative, fun, loved, faithful, intelligent, and paired with a husband just as fab as she is.

here is a snipet because i'm keeping most of them under my belt for a while.

i am a huge proponent of updated husband and wife shots. for every 700 i have of my kids i have one that i like of seth and me. so whenever tiff rolls around i make sure saz and i take a little time for ourselves. my idea this time was sexy shots on the bed...oooooh!

How about his sexy face? i'm telling ya, i hit the jack.pot.

rock on, tiff. you outdid yourself again and i am madly in love with these photos. thank you.

dude got huge.

2011-07-12T09:47:00.001-07:00

literally. charlie is a chunky, happy, beautiful boy. and he just turned one - which makes him huge... and kind of a big deal.

junebug in july.

2011-07-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

she's getting so big that i cannot believe it. but i can believe it because it happened to finn.

my hubs.

2011-07-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

you know what? i'm feeling a little mushy today.

i'm clearing out my hardrive, backing up, and fixing up. i came across this photo of saz from november of 2009. he's not posing by any means - he was sitting there while i set up the self timer and i clicked away. i see him like this in my head sometimes. shaggy hair (which he hasn't had since roughly this photo), beard (which he has had for years now), chucks, and a t-shirt.

he's my bestie. he keeps me grounded. he makes me laugh. he makes me want to be better. and he's smokin' hot. i got it and i'm not letting go.

a little more love.

2011-07-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

facebook works for loads of reasons: finding friends you went to college with, keeping up with family across the country, secretly stalking people you probably wouldn't talk to on a regular basis, and apparently hooking up with two peeps you went to high school with to take their engagement pictures.

embarrisingly enough i didn't recognize chad (who was, in my defense, 3 years older than me and i haven't seen him in probably 10 years) but i digress. they were easy to shoot and had two super, well trained dogs. enough said.

someone was a scene stealer...

all you need is

2011-07-04T19:22:00.001-07:00

sparklers on the fourth: not just for kids.

dad's day.

2011-06-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

we spent this father's day with my side. and here we are, in all our glory, at my folks house.

the running joke of our lives is that my mother closes her eyes in every. single. picture. she's in. so usually if i want a nice shot i have her look at the kids or at my dad. anyway - for the sake of tradition we get a group shot of everyone closing their eyes (which started one year when we did it as a joke, didn't tell my mom, and sure enough her eyes were closed).

you know what i love about this photo most? the fact that, despite my mother closing her eyes in every. single. picture. she's ever in - she has to stress closing her eyes for this posed shot. love you mom. and love you dad - you are the man, the myth, the legend.

the image is a little off centered since i had my 80-something year old grandma taking it. the camera was half the size of her.

busy bee.

2011-06-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

that's what i'm being... a busy bee. more to come from this sweet engagement session but this just caught my eye. i love sun flare.

the shirt says it all.

2011-06-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

i imagine i'm sending very mixed messages to my soon-to-be two year old by telling him to, "stop coloring yourself but stand in front of the window so i can take your picture." and i'm saying that all while laughing.

me and my lova.

2011-06-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

and guess what? after the wedding seth and i got to stay as guests... so here i am giving my best zoolander "blue steel" and seth with his "bond, james bond" while we enjoyed a bit of dancing, a bit of music, and a bit of time minus our two beautiful children.

sneak.

2011-06-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

where i have i been? branson, mo, houston, tx, el paso, il. spending time with family, my kiddos, the dogs, friends. refreshing, napping, reading, walking, hanging at the park, and stauter farm.

and i even snuck another wedding in. this couple actually got married in aruba (if only...) so i was on hand for the portraits and reception when they got back. colorful, fun - just like the couple. naturally it started raining about 30 minutes after we got started - thankfully downtown lasalle has a few abandoned buildings with overhangs that fit everyone. as per usual, this is a small sneak with more to come later.

holy hotness before the rain!!

grab an umbrella. stop traffic...

boys? give me your best nsync poses...

and jump.

ladies? look pretty.

here they are.

2011-06-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

i wonder what boomer thinks...

and finn is loving being a big brother. he asks to hold her about 90 times a day.

happiness for a dollar.

2011-06-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

it's garage sale season and praise the Lord for that. clothes, books, and toys for the kiddos at a very reasonable price.

finn has the music in his soul so a piano was in order. the cost? $1. the videos? priceless.

finn making his daddy sing:

finn came home from church and started composing a little ditty of his own:

anyone catch the elmo shoutout?

what is making me happy right now.

2011-05-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

finn trying to be sweet to his sister, juno. although during this mini-session i believe i yelled, "gentle, careful, down't squish her!" about 700 times... and the camera was only out for two minutes.

peonies. no, i don't have any of my own but when i'm out walking i'll occasionally grab one from a bush too close to the sidewalk. come fall i will take some from my parent's collection so i won't have to do that anymore.

finn "helping" with laundry. he usually ends up falling out of the basket and crying - but then i get to cuddle him for a minute for comfort. double whammy.

even though my parent's constantly remind me i shouldn't let my chive bush flower sometimes i do and i get purple things that look pretty. oh, and for the record, when i was home this weekend their plant flowered. yep, ma and dad, i noticed.

and i like to think finn is talking on his phone telling his friend how awesome juno is.

good looker.

2011-05-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

some pictures don't really need explaining.

nice potty mouth, kid.

2011-05-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

as a reformed mega-swearer (well, i'm still not perfect but i do try) i go to great lengths to watch my mouth around my children. i replace bad things with "oh boy!" and "bless it!" but a few days ago i realized to the outside world it may not look like it.

case #1: my son loves pointing out clocks for some reason. the doctor's office, any one's house, the mall. no matter where we're at he'll find it, point at it and yell CLOCK! but here lies the problemo - clock is magically turned in to another word by dropping the "l". that's right - my son is walking around public places yelling that word. nice.

case #2: finn's attention span at this age is lacking. so i found myself sternly telling him to "focus" when we're trying to get out of the house. one arm in the coat and he darts off... "focus" i say. and he repeats me... except this time it sounds like two words. the first being the mother of all swears and the second word sounding like "it." so - mother of all cuss words and "it." yep - and on occasion i've heard him say this in public.

the moral of the story is this - if you see us out and my son points at you and calls you a clock or tells you to "something" it just know that i have not taught him these things and he really is sweet natured - it just gets lost in translation of his very own language. or as ben funk calls it, "finnglish."

get up.

2011-05-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

waking up for finn is a matter of routine. below are images after nap time. he requires "balk" (milk) and "toons" (cartoons) or more specifically, "woody" (toy story 3). this lasts about 15 minutes and then he is full throttle.

and for the sake of taking more pictures of me and mine i am willing to post this most unattractive photo of myself. because i will go to great lengths to get my son to laugh sometimes. it only half worked here but i think he was more scared by my appearance.

sprung.

2011-05-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

well - we made it out of the hospital after 48 hours. the verdict? probably something viral. a huge, huge praise to God for that and a big thanks to everyone for praying and thinking of my little peanut. how easy it is to take certain things for granted- like insurance and medical care.

the last hours before checking out of bromenn i thought of our friends who are awaiting the call to go and get their two kiddos from another country. one of the children has had malaria three times - this last time was potentially life threatening to the point our friend was ready to fly down there to help advocate and care for him. my situation was completely different. with just a mild fever she was given every test to rule out disease and i was allowed to stay by her side and even given a bed. my heart aches for our friends and if you would, please pray that they are able to get them soon and bring them home - for their health, and for an easy transition.

what's little juno like? much feistier than her older brother was at this age. she has a funny hairline that you can kind of see from this photo... it's kind of like a recieding hairline/widow's peak all in one and it's just perfect. i know every mother says this but i have a beautiful baby - chubby cheeks, long lashes, a little pudgy nose, and squishy little lips.

here she is hanging in our bed - something i haven't done since she was born. since i'm an awesome wife (ask saz, he'll totally agree) i sleep on the couch until a decent routing is established. at least one of us should be getting an uninterrupted night of sleep, right?

one month out and we're back in.

2011-05-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:6-8

currently i am sitting in a hospital room while my sweet juno is hooked up to an iv in a baby hospital gown in a crib large enough to fit me.

on tuesday finn, juno, and i were getting ready to go out on a walk. while changing her i thought she felt warm and she hadn't been that interested in eating so i took her temp... 100.3. that number raced through my mind... "any temperature 100.3 or higher in infants under 2 months can be a sign of serious infection." i called the doctor at 4:15pm and upon their instruction raced to the the office before 5 to avoid an ER visit.

finn was instantly pissed thinking i had lied about our walk as i rushed him past the stroller and got in the car. by the time i had got to the office at 4:52 her temp had risen to 100.9... "in babies this age we automatically admit them to the hospital overnight for observation," the doctor told me. the tears welled in my eyes. we got back in the car to drive over to bromenn.

i called seth to come and get finn, called my parents for comfort, and called my momma-in-law for finn's overnight accommodations. check.

no sooner were we in the room than the nurses swept her away for blood, urine, chest x-rays, and a spinal tap. "she'll be here at least 48 hours until the cultures come back." in our technological world i sent out texts asking for prayer because the doctor's explanations of possible things that could be wrong were bad... really bad. her fever was up to 101.

i held her, i fed her, and later in the evening her fever vanished- without help of any drugs. of course they still started two broad spectrum antibiotics but all was looking up. i trust in God. and through my worry i know He is here with us. medically speaking we are not out of the woods until the cultures start coming back tomorrow evening although things are looking clear so far.

regardless what is to come i will praise His name in the midst of these trials.

don't you have a baby?

2011-05-09T12:18:00.001-07:00

why yes, yes i do. i've had more than one person say my posting's of juno far lack that of finn's first few weeks. ouch. guilty.

in my defense it's hard to pick up the camera when finn is all over the place. and these are two different babies. finn would be content anywhere i put him and for however long. juno, on the other hand, is not really happy unless she's being held when she's awake so the photos end up being her squirmy and crying.

for example:

so i decided to hold her a little:

and that reminded me of this:

in first photo, juno is one month old - finn is at least 7 months in his. i kind of wish i would have done a month by month like this. maybe now is the best time to start!

her and him.

2011-05-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

time for a rest... because being pretty is hard work

whatup gq.

her gift to him...

overlooking...

it's all in the details.

2011-05-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

and this wedding was full of it. everything was well thought out and wonderfully executed (in my humble opinion).

hers:

his:

the cookie bar (which.was.awesome.):

the cake:

find your place:

table settings:

i wish...

2011-05-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

...i had a picture of myself like this from my own wedding.

i shot a beautiful affair today then did a quick upload to the pc and right away this caught my eye. so enjoy and wait patiently for more to come - because every last thing about this wedding was lovely and perfect.

baby parts.

2011-04-29T05:51:00.000-07:00

yep. i got a picture where you really can't see her face. why? because for some reason i can manage to get other people's newborn's to sleep and cuddle and get in a box looking all sweet and snugly but not mine. FAIL. i was at home with her for almost a week by myself and instead of picking up the camera during this all-too-critical-will-sleep-in-any-position-anywhere-time i just held her. not that i'm really complaining but seriously? no "real" cuddly newborn photos. (i did this with finn too.)

so - i faked it here and threw her on a chair half swaddled. the end result? a photo i adore.
i mean, look at that baby shoulder? i can smell it from here and feel it's softness. i did the classic over think mommy thing and assumed i was being bad because i didn't get the photos i think i should have. wrong.

i have the babies i want. i have the babies i love. and i still have some photos to remember the fleeting time when they needed me wholly.

dude got a haircut.

2011-04-27T06:23:00.001-07:00

finn hasn't required many haircuts so until this particular day i've been taking on the task myself (with saz as my trusty helper). this has naturally lead to a bit of unevenness and crazy.

if i knew all it would require to get a presentable young man was $10 and a sucker we would have went this route a long, long time ago.

before:

during:

after:

what crazy looks like...

2011-04-20T19:26:00.000-07:00

on an ordinary day.

i think and hope that very soon i will have several blog posts about my beautiful little girl and her wonderful older brother, what's going on with life, how we're adjusting, and everything zeller. but for now i will look at this photo and smile.

juno.

2011-04-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

juno zeller, or j-z, as my sister pointed out... which is pretty awesome. her middle name is marenda (my momma's maiden name) and she is perfect in every possible way. i'm sure over the next few days i'll post a silly amount of photos but i thought an immediate update was necessary. and after all, what do you do in the hospital alone at night with a sleeping baby? blog.

and girlfriend actually got some hair! finn was pretty bald and didn't fill out for quite some time. juno is already off to a little better start in that department.

b.a.b.y.

2011-04-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

i am sitting here all alone this morning (thanks mom and dad for taking finn), sipping coffee, and wondering when my baby will come. i will admit my anxiousness is completely due to control. i want the baby when i want the baby - and i want the baby NOW. but i am not in control. God is and He knows way better than me when the baby will and should come. but hey, here's hoping for today... So, Psalm 37 - I will take this nugget away for the day and etch it on my heart: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act." 37:5 and i wish my coffee looked like this - but the credit goes straight to the coffee hound and the shoot i had there a few weeks back.

nora.

2011-04-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

sweet little nora made her arrival to some fun, fun parents!

again, a session close to my own due date but what nice practice snuggling her precious little body. she was quite awake the whole time but hey, you just roll with the punches.

maybe she slept a little...

besties.

2011-03-31T19:46:00.000-07:00

i wonder if cash (or KAH! as finn calls him) knows how very loved he is. i also wonder if he minds his role as jungle gym and lounge chair - or if he minds getting screamed at (always playfully) daily. boomer is a bit more skiddish and runs away alot but not cash... cash will sit and be kind and patient. we really lucked out with this rhodesian. don't get me wrong - we have our days with the dogs. more so in the winter when we're ALL cooped up together but raising a child with dogs far outweighs my fleeting annoyances. perfect example: my girlfriend asked what i use for quick cleanups when finn spills. i seemed confused and she explained, "do you use a dust buster, broom?" to which i replied, "no, i have two dogs." finn runs after them - chasing and screaming and they chase right back. exercise for the day? yes, please. to kah and boo-er... your buddy finn loves you dearly.

coffee hound and photos.

2011-03-31T19:10:00.000-07:00

i'll admit it, i've been playing russian roulette booking sessions so close to my due date but so far the chamber has been empty.

first up - a family i've been able to shoot for the 3rd time. we met in bloomington at the coffee hound for latte's and chocolate milk. wonderful, as always.

sidenote: i got a huge kick out of all the super cool hipsters. i was swimming in a sea of skinny jeans, pointy, leather ankle shoes, scarves, and hardcover books.

sammy j

2011-03-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

there will be more to come from this day but i came across this picture and loved how his eyes perfectly match the slide. seriously - this kid has some baby blues on him that will more than likely break a few hearts.

we headed to the park for a playdate/sam's two year photos. TWO YEARS? i remember his birth like it was yesterday.

oh sammy j.

wowza.

2011-03-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

chiggity check out this mop. need i say more?

baby luke.

2011-03-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

little luke was born with CHARGE syndrome, which is a complex genetic birth defect. i had never heard of it until he was born to a family at our church. i was able to pop over and snap a few photos of this little boy after he came home and joined his two older brothers.

to see what God has done for this family and continues to do is proof of His graciousness. i had been thinking what i would write when i posted a picture of them but i have no eloquent words or descriptions for it other than that.

how about those lashes?

sugar, awwww honey honey.

2011-03-07T18:55:00.000-08:00

give me the sweet stuff.

this pregnancy has been most noticeably different for me in that i want sweet, sugary goodness all. the. time.

i had a girlfriend visit for lunch on saturday and she asked what she could bring. i joked that cupcakes are always welcome and boom, she delivered. chicago bakery cupcakes delivered to my doorstep (you know, the kind with cream cheese frosting). the following evening another girlfriend and her hubs offered to bring us dinner. i said, "no, we'll provide dinner, you bring candy." oh and candy me up she did. dark chocolate bars, suckers, sour gummy worms. heaven. and don't even get me started on the schwan man! i'm sure he could chart the size of my belly with the size of our order every two weeks - toffee bars, dark chocolate mini's, and gallon's of vanilla ice cream.

so for that reason, i'm going to lay my money down that i'm having a girl. when i first became pregnant i felt different from finn. i was much sicker, my poor face revolted against me, and i wasn't quite as tired either. so i thought - girl. then things felt the same for a while and i decided, "nope, it's a boy in this belly. i'm going to have two insane little boys running around my house." but the focus has shifted again.

so - with my reasoning based largely on sugar intake i'm guessing there is a little baby girl in this baby maker. go with my odds people - we're talking sugar.

punching numbers.

2011-02-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

until this day i never figured finn for a desk-type. he seems more of the x-games, dance all night, stunt man guy. but then i took him to my ma's work and he was alllllll about desk jumping from lap to lap so he could push buttons - his favorite hobby. he looked like a natural.

but look how quickly my momma's face goes from this...

to this...

she'll be here soon.

2011-02-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

this baby will be very, very loved. and have a wicked sense of humor i'm guessing.

a well respected man.

2011-02-08T15:23:00.001-08:00

he just can't help it... the dance pours out of him. so much so that while i was trying to teach him to dribble a basketball today he was moving to the beat of the ball against the wood floor.

lately his dancing has resembled a crazy person running around in circles as you can take away from this video. while my official verdict isn't in, and i cannot medically prove it - i think i may be having another boy. can you imagine two of these running around my house?

it is my birthday.

2011-02-05T06:16:00.000-08:00

28. and i don't feel old one bit.

the last time my birthday fell on a saturday i was 22. i distinctly remember that because i turned 21 on a friday the year before. but a saturday birthday to a 22 year old without kids is much different then a saturday birthday to a pregnant 28 year old mother of one. not bad, just different.

on my 22 birthday a very diverse collection of my closest friends and i went to peoria, partied down, stayed in a hotel together (like, 10 of us in one room), ate at hoops at 6 am and really never went to bed if memory serves me. i had cotton candy pink hair at the time and made personal friends with everyone in SOP's that night.

fast forward 6 years. my adoring hubs tried to let me sleep in but i was still up at 6:30am although i laid in bed until 7:15 (gasp!). i came down to my two favorite boys watching the cat in the hat. the coffee was ready and the the few dishes in the sink were done. bliss. so far, so different. our plans for the afternoon are to drop finn off with his gree, go and have an adult lunch with a few friends, and go to lowe's. that's right - we're picking out a toilet and vanity. WOOT WOOT!! all aboard the party train. and this evening will probably consist of putting finn to bed around 7:30, crashing on the couch together and watching a movie.

22 year old me would have probably cringed at the above description but i am honest in saying i wouldn't have it any other way. i am blessed beyond capacity today and everyday.

wouldn't you feel the same if you could look at these faces every morning?

oh julia gulia...

2011-02-02T18:20:00.001-08:00

one more for the snow.

2011-02-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

to help our cabin fever we took finn for his first sled ride... around our block. on the way you'll notice my poor little vibe stranded outside of our garage since the door broke three days ago (perfect timing).

the happs.

2011-02-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

hello there. i remember when i started this blog i had a non-mobile baby who would sit on my lap as i typed. gone are those days and replaced with a nonstop, action packed day filled with me not being able to let finn out of my sight making blogging a little more difficult. but that isn't the point of this post.

we, like everyone else, are snowed in for the day.

snow days are a little different when you're a stay at home mom. during the winter especially we are allllll about the play dates. adult time for me - socialization time for finn; a win/win situation for us both. being snowed in takes away all of these options. sure, seth is here but he wants to be on the up and up and work! so i am faced with trying to pretend he isn't here and then convincing finn that his daddy isn't here. in all fairness seth has not tried to get anything done but shovel today. long gone are the days when i worked and would beg for snow days so i could sleep in, lay on the couch, do nothing... finn gets up at the same time whether there's 2 feet of snow on the ground or not.

we started our day by "cah-wering," which is finn's favorite activity these days. it actually proves to be quite frustrating to him too but he constantly requests it so we try and encourage him.

(seth is perplexed by finn's mad skills.)

finn has discovered my wool hat and loves wearing it around. even though we keep our house cooler than most, it really isn't that cold in here. after the coloring was a pause for some cartoons.

and then time for outside! he loved the snow. he stomped around, fell forward, sat down, followed seth while he shoveled. unfortunately we don't have a great glove situation for him so when i took him back inside to warm his hands he FREAKED out. crying, trying to hit me, the works. but - i'm very glad he got a kick out of all the white stuff since it won't be going anywhere for a while.

i guess you're just what i needed.

2011-01-20T10:24:00.000-08:00

therapy. that's what i feel like i've been needing lately. blame it on the hormones, blame it on the rain- but i've been feeling down. i've been on this mission to reconcile the me now to the me 6 years ago in a healthy way - you know, all the fun without the self destructive behavior. luckily i have a supportive husband who handles the crazy with a lot of grace (thank you dear).

little did i know i would find a healthy dose of the therapy i needed in the decluttering of january 2011. since seth and i have been in the house i've never had a setup in the office i was pleased with. truth is - it's been a bunch of my clutter and crap piled on any surface i could find. on our mission to clean up the place before the baby comes we decided on the office first.

after hanging the paintings we've accumulated from our friends something seemed missing. then BOOM! like a flash of light i asked seth if he remembered my wall of random in the apartment i lived in when we first started dating. he did. and he understood where i was going with it so we set out to find the initial odds and ends. success. it was exactly what the room needed, what i needed. our collection of randomness has turned the office in to a memory filled, quirky, beautifully us space to have. and from now on we can keep adding together - adding stories, adding memories, and a continuation of therapy that i'm sure i'll never stop needing.

(things on the wall include, but are not limited to: spools of ribbon i found at dwight days, business cards, cards, photos, sonograms, meatwad and shakezula (missing: frylock).)

things yet to come:

eloise.

2011-01-10T06:06:00.001-08:00

it is the first time i've really picked up my camera in almost a month and it was for a sweet and cuddly little baby born to my cousin. i'm still jealous of all that dark hair she has.

i'm considering this the perfect way to start off the 2011 year.

2011 begins.

2011-01-05T10:40:00.000-08:00

the month of me and mine (december 2010) was a successful failure in the truest sense. my visions of printing photos, updating frames, organizing, and other general to do's went right out the window. fail.

i did, however, soak up much needed time with my dear friends, love on our wonderful families, and seth and i were able to take in a trip as a couple in addition to focusing much needed attention on our eldest and only. success.

so a new year has started and before i know it i'll have another one attached at the hip (also a wonderful thing). january is the month of organization and purging- closests, junk drawers, basement, you name it. we're going with a minimalist theme for 2011. i'll keep you updated.

the biggest change we've implemented so far in these short 5 days is the switch to cloth diapers. and guess what? like the people who use them said - they aren't bad at all. when i heard that originally i would think, "yeah, right," in my head but turns out they knew what they were talking about. these aren't your grandma's cloth diapers.

i have three friends that use them and have talked with regarding the basics and everyday routine. basing my decision purely on finance seth and i decided to go for it. we have been checking sales for the past few months and buying diapers and accessories a little at the time to help offset the start up cost. i still have more to go but for right now i have a solid two day supply for finn. i also sprung for the poop sprayer because hey - it makes it MUCH easier.

money aside, there is something terribly adorable about it...

there is a jertain in my curtain who loves playing peek a boo with me.

and despite his very best efforts he still can't manage to grow a decent head of hair. patchy, coarse, and laughable. i love every inch of him.

typical day.

2010-12-22T07:13:00.000-08:00

for every mess made...

there is a time to clean.

merry christmas with a self timer.

2010-12-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

another year done. another baby baking...

here was our card photo last year with the caption, "we do not want riches, we want peace and love":

this was our reject "happy holla-days" card from last year:

our final product this year (caption: "he who has not christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree"):

our reject from this year. we thought it might be a little cruel to make fun of finn at christmas time.

so merry christmas to everyone! we are looking forward to the blessings another new year will bring.

grandpa's boy.

2010-12-11T10:09:00.000-08:00

while we were in chicago last weekend my parents (affectionately known as noni and grandpa) took good care of finn. when we went to pick him up on sunday my dad was fully in charge as my mom ditched out to go shopping in chicago with her friends (just kidding MOM!)

anyway - in an attempt to make december all about our family and friends i snapped a few photos of finn with his "pa." and some of you may know - my ma is developing a complex since finn won't even try and say noni even though he is an expert at saying "no." i imagine grockey will be way last on the list...

so next time i'm home i'll get some of finn and noni and uncle dougie (since he can say that too.)

dad's looking a bit scruffy...

he's a hard worker.

2010-12-11T10:03:00.000-08:00

finn takes joy in the small things. like emptying my utensil drawer one by one, carrying them to the front door, smashing them into the curtain, and going back and forth, back and forth.

hey - it's the little things, right?

and if you've seen finn in the last month you know this is THE face.